Sex and the Law
Making sure that you are safe and not at risk of harm when it comes to sex and relationships, is an important part of sexual health and wellbeing. Sex and the law is clear in Scotland, here we share what you need to know.
Consent is when a person gives their permission or freely agrees to something that they know about and that they understand.
In the UK, both partners must consent to having any sexual contact for it to be legal. That means that both partners need to know and understand what kind of sexual activity they are agreeing to.
- Consent is something that can change at any time and even if you have agreed or consented to something, you are still able to change your mind.
- Likewise, just because you have consented to one thing, doesn’t mean you have consented to others. For example, just because someone consents to being touched, does not mean they consent to sex.
- Consent does not have to be given verbally but should be indicated clearly, through noise, body language, facial expressions, nodding etc.
The law says consent cannot be given when:
- Someone is asleep or unconscious
- Someone agrees because they are unlawfully detained
- Someone agrees because of violence or threats
- Someone agrees because the other person is pretending to be someone else
- Someone else agrees on the person’s behalf
- Someone is under the age of 13
- Someone who is in a position of trust has sex with someone who is in their care and aged 17 or under
- Someone with a learning disability cannot communicate, understand or form a decision as to whether to engage in an act
If you have been pressured into doing something without giving your consent, it can sometimes feel like it’s your fault or you could feel embarrassed. It’s important to remember that being forced or pressured into doing something is never your fault and there is help available.
For more support, here are some useful links:
- Bish UK - Consent Innit
- Rape Crisis Scotland or call 08088 010302
- Police Scotland
It’s illegal for anyone in a position of trust to have sexual contact with anyone aged 17 or under who is in their care.
Someone is in a position of trust if they have responsibility for the care or wellbeing of anyone aged 17 or under. This includes teachers, youth workers and sports coaches among others.
For more information about sex and the law, here are some useful links:
Rape: is when someone forces their penis into the mouth, vagina or anus of another person who has not given, or is not capable of giving their consent (see section below).
- Only someone with a penis can commit rape but anyone can be a victim of rape.
Sexual Assault: There are several types of sexual assault and they can be committed by all genders. This includes any kind of unwanted and non-consensual physical contact, as well as being forced to do a sexual act or to view or watch indecent images.
Examples of sexual assault include:
- Being forced or pressured to have sexual contact you don’t want.
- Penetration of the mouth, vagina or anus that consent has not been given for using a body part or any other object.
- Being touched in a sexual way that makes you feel scared or uncomfortable, including through clothes.
- Being forced to masturbate.
For more support, here are some useful links:
- Rape Crisis Scotland or call 08088 010302
- Police Scotland
Sexting involves sending sexual or naked photos of yourself to somebody else.
It can seem like harmless fun, but if the person you’re sending to isn’t trustworthy or who they say they are, it can go wrong quickly.
Once you’ve sent a photo, you can’t control who sees it and it can be sent on to others or posted online. This can be embarrassing and stressful for you and can have a big impact on your life.
Always think before sexting:
- Think about your relationship with the person you’re sending the image to - how much do you trust them? Why do they want a sexual photo of you ?
- Think about why you are doing it – if you didn’t send it, would it change your relationship? If it would, is the relationship a good one? Are you being pressured into sending images of yourself that you don’t want to?
- Think about whether you would do it face to face - If you do not feel ready to have sex, are you really ready for sending naked photos? You are in charge of the decisions you make about your body and sex, be kind to yourself and don’t do anything you don’t feel comfortable with.
- Think about whether the consequences are worth the risk - What if your photo ends up on the internet? How do you control who sees it? Thinking about what could go wrong might help you keep yourself safe.
Remember:
- If you are under 18, taking and sending a sexual image of yourself is illegal, even if it’s to a long term partner.
- It’s also illegal for you to expose anyone under 18 to indecent images. If you are under 18, making an indecent image and sending it to your partner means you may be breaking the law twice.
- If you are under 18, It’s illegal for your partner, or whoever you send the image to, to have it stored on their phone or tablet - so they are breaking the law by having it.
Navigating the online world when it comes to sexual health and relationships can be challenging, and it can be hard to stay safe online while knowing how to protect yourself and your privacy. Here are some top tips and some useful links to help you:
- Check the privacy settings on the apps you are using - make sure your profiles are set to private so that only people you know can see what you post.
- Do not post anything you wouldn’t want your granny to see! - if you’d be embarrassed for them to see your images, do you want other people to see them too?
- Once you’ve posted something online, you cannot always control who sees it or what that image is used for – imagine if something you posted ended up on a porn site? Check out the user agreements for the apps and sites you are using to find out what rights they have over your posts.
- Think about who you add as a friend and consider only adding people who you know - this way you know the people viewing your posts won’t use them to bully you or to force you to do something you don’t want to.
Visit www.thinkuknow.co.uk for lots of useful information and videos about how to stay safe online.
Other sites with helpful information are:
You can also find more information on apps and sex on our SX Scotland website here.
Many people believe that having sex while drunk or on drugs makes sex easier.
This is because both alcohol and drugs can relax you and make you worry less about sex.
If you’re using alcohol or drugs while having sex, here are our top tips to keep in mind:
- Know what you're taking - always remember that the drugs you think you’re taking may differ from the drugs you actually have, especially if you get them from someone you don’t really know.
- Safe sex - if you’re using drugs or alcohol, it’s easy to get carried away and forget this bit – make sure you remember to use condoms! Find out more about condoms and contraception here.
- Know your limit - if you’re new to using drugs or drinking alcohol, it's worth finding out how it will make you feel and how you can do so safely. Find out more about how drugs and alcohol can affect you here.
- Don’t do anything you don’t want to - even if the person you are having sex with is taking drugs, it doesn’t mean that you have to. As with everything in your sex life, the choice is always up to you. If you do decide to take drugs before sex, be aware that this may lower your inhibitions and lead to you doing things you wouldn’t normally do. When high, boundaries can shift or blur, so think about this before you get into it. You always have the right to say no.
- Stay Hydrated - it's important to remain hydrated when taking drugs however, with some drugs such as MDMA/Ecstasy, caution is needed as drinking too much water can be fatal. It might seem like common sense, but when you are taking drugs and having sex it’s very easy to forget to drink regularly.
- If you’re using drugs on medication - keep in mind that one drug can alter the effects of the other. Be aware if you are on prescription drugs (i.e. for HIV) that some drugs may interact with them and alter their effectiveness.
- If you feel uncomfortable - telling someone that you feel unwell can be a simple way of taking a break from a situation you are not comfortable with. You can take some time out, drink some water and think about what you’d like to do (or not do) next. Remember you have the right to withdraw your consent to the sex you're having at any point.
For more information on staying safe with alcohol, drugs and sex, check out the links below:
The relationships we have form a huge part of our lives and help to shape us as people.
They include family, friends, teachers, employers and, of course partners.
Whatever relationship it is, it’s important to be able to recognise the difference between good and bad relationships.
When it comes to sexual relationships, you should always be able to communicate with your partner. It’s important to feel comfortable talking about sex with your partner, so that you can tell each other what you both like and don’t like.
No-one should ever have to put up an abusive or violent partner. If you think you're in an abusive or violent relationship, it's important to remember it is never your fault and there is support available. Here are some organisations that can help you through it:
- Scottish Women's Aid - Helpline 0800 027 1234 (Phone anytime)
- Scottish Government Domestic Abuse Support
- Scottish Government Domestic Abuse Support for Men
- Scottish Government Domestic Abuse Support for Women
- Victim Support Scotland - Helpline 0800 160 1985 (Monday to Friday, 8am to 8pm)
- Police Scotland
- LGBT Scotland
There’s also lots of good information about relationships online. Follow the links below to find out more about this topic:
