Apps provide a way for men to meet for sex, dating and relationships.
Negotiating sex
Chatting online provides a great opportunity to talk about consensual and pleasurable sex with a potential partner. You can tell them about what you’re into and what you’re looking for while making clear what you’re not comfortable with.
You can also talk about what you want to do when you get together. Are you going to have a drink and a chat first or is it straight to bed?
Make sure you feel confident that the person is who they say they are before meeting up. It is important that you feel safe and that someone knows where you are when meeting up.
For more advice, check out our information on consent and negotiating condom use or get in touch with us.
Get in touch
Tips for using apps
Whatever you’re using apps for, it’s worth thinking about what you’re looking for and how you want to come across to other people.
Profile pictures
If you’re going to use a profile picture, a clear picture of you is always a good start. However, there are plenty of good reasons why you, or other people using the app, might not want to use a photo. Maybe you aren’t out, don’t want people to know you’re on apps, or prefer to send pictures after having a little small talk.
Whatever the case, make sure to consider your own safety when meeting up with people from apps.
Profile content
Your profile is your opportunity to get across to other guys what you’re looking for. Be as creative as you want to make your profile stand out and attract the type of guy you’re looking for. Try to be clear about what you’re looking for and what kind of hook ups you are comfortable with.
Most apps give you the option to disclose your HIV status. Some guys choose this option to be upfront with potential partners, or to save you from having to bring it up in conversation. However, be aware that some guys never read profiles and may get in touch based solely on your profile pic.
It’s also worth remembering that apps are effectively public spaces and that your profile information will be available to anyone who wants to access it.
Sharing pictures
Lots of men like to send pictures to potential partners, though you should never feel pressured into it. It’s always your choice.
It’s worth considering what images you put out there and whether you want people to know it’s you. In Scotland, there is a relatively small scene in most cities so it’s possible you will be chatting to someone who you already know in some form.
Not everyone is discreet about their app meets and will share information and images with their friends. It is illegal for your partner, or whoever you send the image to, to share your pictures without your consent, or to have them stored on their phone or tablet. Find out how to report that your photos have been shared illegally here.
Trans people and apps
Most apps have an option to display your gender identity on your profile, but whether you do is always your decision.
If you decide to disclose it on your profile, you might find that you often get asked questions about your gender and your body. While this might present a chance for you to talk about sexual preferences and what turns you on, it can sometimes feel intimidating or inappropriate.
Remember you can always report or block someone if they make you uncomfortable, or if they are inappropriate towards you.
Looking for support?
If you are looking for tailored support and advice for gay, bisexual and all men who have sex with men, we're here to help. Get in touch by filling out our contact form.
